A Helping Hand

Yesterday was my last day at work before a much-needed two week break.  I had spent a lot of time over the week wrapping up loose ends so I could mentally leave the job and enjoy the time off.

The last task on my to-do list was a visit to our local mega-home improvement retailer.  I needed to buy paint.  Large quantities in big, heavy buckets.  At 4:00.  On a hot, sunny Saturday afternoon.

Yeah......


I was not going into this task at my best.  After multiple comments over the day, ranging from "You feeling okay?" from a customer (or three) to "Honey, you look like crap today" from my dear husband (to whom I have been married for over 20 years - we say it like it is) I had to admit that I was feeling fairly knackered.  I had a three-day-old knot in my shoulder that wouldn't let up, hadn't clocked more than four hours of sleep in the past couple of nights, and was overheated.

Hmm....


After finding a parking space,and the appropriate flat-bed style cart (so I wouldn't have to heave the buckets up and over the sides of a regular cart) I made my way into the store.  Where, of course, every single person was buying paint.  

Cue multiples of "Excuse me" and "Can I just squeeze past you?" (it seems that folks are uber-focused when deciding which colour to paint their worlds, because no one seemed to see me with my big-ass, bright-orange cart).

I adore the mega-store shopping experience.  Not....

I was relieved to find that they had 'my' paint in stock.  Shuffled two 5-gallon buckets next to the flat-deck, and heaved them the whole six (maybe?) inches onto it.  Mentally smacked myself up-side the head - I've been buying this stuff for years, and every single time I conveniently forget just how damned HEAVY those buckets are.  

Mental self-preservation?  Perhaps....

I bobbed and weaved my way to the check-out and patiently waited in line at one of the two tills that were actually being run by human beings (I don't "do" automated self-check thingies - I have this strange idea in my head that they are a mean method of increasing profit for huge companies that are more than happy to axe employees in the name of the mighty dollar.  End of mini-rant).

I walked back across the mile or so of parking lot to my vehicle.  Opened the tailgate, and steeled myself to lift the hell-buckets the three feet (?) into the back of the truck. 

And the voice of an angel said "Are you gonna lift those things yourself?  Can I give you a hand?"

I looked at the angel (not an angel with wings sprouting out of his back, but a rather ordinary-looking man - the kind we have the good fortune to see here on Earth) and said "Are you serious?"

For just a second you could see his walls go up - he visibly flinched.

I quickly added "THAT would be amazing!  Thank you so much!!!"

And as quickly as that, the walls dropped, and his face smiled back at my smiling face.   

He lifted the hell-buckets into the truck (making it look like they were no heavier than a jug of milk), and offered to climb in and move them to the front of the box so they wouldn't slide around.  I told him that was okay, I wasn't driving far, and thanked him again.  I told him he was kind.  He said it was nothing. Told him he was a gentleman - he laughed, and replied that his wife called him that once in a while, but usually other things.  We chuckled, waved, and he got into his truck and drove away.

It wasn't nothing.  He was being kind.  A gentleman, even.  He put himself out there by offering to help a stranger.  But I saw him flinch.  I have flinched that very same flinch myself, more than once.  Because sometimes offers of help are smacked down faster than a hungry mosquito.  

Offer anyway.  Extend a hand.  What is the worst thing that can happen?  

If the person looks at you like you are an axe murderer before saying "No" with an acid tongue, it has everything to do with them and NOTHING to do with you.  So don't own it.  Move along.

The next time you notice someone who looks like they could use a little help, put yourself out there.  Even the most capable person out there can use a hand from someone, sometimes.  

If you are fortunate enough to be the person being offered the help?  If you don't want or need it, go ahead and say "No", but follow that with a "Thank you", okay?  Crack a little bit of a grin to acknowledge the kindness being offered.  That person is putting themselves out there by offering.  Don't slap the hand they've extended to you.

If you could use the help?  Say "Thank you" with a little grace, and accept it.   It doesn't make you any less of a human to admit you need a little help now and again.

No man (or woman) is an island.  We're all on this rock together. Let's try to make it a gentler ride for each other, shall we?

I have to say that I couldn't have made up a better experience to wrap up my work week.   

Thanks, guy - in your own little way you rocked my world today.