Shit Happens

Some days you step in a pile of crap. 
 

You didn't see it there, and it really singes your britches when you have to step off to the side and take a few moments to scuff the mess out of your treads.  

You move along crap-free and, soon enough, forget about it.

Shit happens.

Same thing the next day.  You deal with it, and move along.

One day, though, when you move off to the side, you look down and realize that you are stepping in another pile.  Dammit!

So you move away a little bit and go to do the scuff and shuffle, only to see that you're in it again.

What the fresh hell?

You start to look around in earnest, and what do you see?  Crap.  Everywhere.  There is literally no way to move away from it.  You are surrounded by it.  For as far as the eye can see, your landscape is dotted with steaming piles.

What a shit show.

So you make your way back to your abode, trying to pick up as little on the bottom of your shoes as you can.  You get a shovel, and you get to work.

This gig stinks. 

Next day you walk out your front door, whistling a tune, confident that you have taken care of business and that THIS day will not smell.  You look up at the clear blue sky, take a step, and WHOOP!

You're flat on your ass, the wind knocked out of you, lying in (surprise!) a sea of manure.

You limp home, drop your clothes at the door, have a shower and climb into bed.  

Fuck this shit.

For the next few days you stay inside.  You just don't have the fortitude to face the crap that's out there.  You peek through the curtains to see if it has somehow magically disappeared, but it's still there, stinking up your world.

This has turned into a shit-storm.

Eventually you simply have to go out.  You're starting to see strange designs in the wallpaper and, frankly, you're out of coffee.  Time to venture into the world.

You dig around until you find an old pair of gumboots and put them on, along with your scruffiest clothes.  Grab an old mop handle - it'll help you to stay upright and not take another header.

You've got this shit!

You make your way to the store, slogging through the muck.  Scrape as much off your boots as you can before you go in, but realize you're not going to get it all off.  Decide that your sincere medical need for coffee wins the day, and walk in anyway.

You grab the necessities, and try to ignore the pearl-clutching reaction of the town gossip when she sees (and smells) you.  She's gonna get some mileage out of this one (because she thinks HER shit don't stink)!

You bump into a friendly acquaintance at the cashier and, when she notices your fashionable attire, shocks you by confiding that the same thing happened to her last year.  She assures you that it won't last forever (she's is now out of the muck), compliments you on your practical yet colourful gumboots, and then moves along with promises of a shared cuppa in the near future.

You make your way back home, pondering how many other people in your world likely don't feel comfortable discussing their own shit.  You notice that the sky is a bright blue, and the sun feels warm on your face.  You slow down a little, using your handy-dandy mop handle for balance.  It was a good decision to go out, even if you did have to walk through a couple of miles of dung.

As you near your place you see that your neighbor, Farmer John, has a really awesome garden growing at his place.  His pigs are out in the yard, and they are frolicking in the muck, absolutely in their element.

And smack-dab in the middle of your yard?  There's a gorgeous daisy, face up to the sun, thriving in it's rich bed of manure. 

You park your boots outside the door and head in for a shower, stopping to put a pot of coffee on first.  Good thing shit washes off.